Breaking Bad

If 9pm is where it all falls apart for you, hear me out. I've got you. I'm going to talk you through the cycle and then give you a regulation interruption setup. So, when you're heading for that binge, a few things will happen. You'll be thinking about the crap day you just had, you had a small dinner because you're watching your calorie intake and you're actually still hungry. You're feeling a little empty inside and it's dessert-o-clock.

You cave in, enjoy it for a moment, and then the guilt sets in. Then you sit there spiraling into shame that you caved in again, the sugar won, and you promise yourself you'll never do it again.

So why do we keep doing this?

Because it's pattern. Human beings thrive on consistency and that also means a routine that becomes an automatic part of everyday life. Snacking at night is no different. It starts as 1 bite, then 2, once a week, and before you know it it's become a ritual that feels odd if you don't follow through.

Our brains are wired to do this, so while you sit there berating yourself for doing it again, you also need to sit in the understanding that your hard-wiring set a pattern and loop into play to finish your day in a way it knows will bring you down to a resting state. That's your switch from sympathetic arousal (think stress, distress, not feeling settled) to parasympathetic, which is where you need to be to get a good night’s sleep.

This is something I personally do:

1) Take a few deep breaths in and out, but focus not just on your lungs, but getting that breath deep into your belly, feeling everything expand from your ribcage to your belly button. Do this a few times. This stabilizes your vagus nerve.

2) Press your feet onto the floor. Literally send pressure down into your feet.

This signals: I am here. I am safe.

Or go outside. Let go of the sense of urgency and be present in the moment.

3) Have a salt + protein micro-snack if needed.

A boiled egg with salt,

A small piece of cheese,

A spoon of cottage cheese or nut butter.

This stops the blood sugar slide without triggering the binge.

When we meet unmet needs, our bodies begin to rely on us more for those cues of safety. It's the moment you let yourself come back to yourself.

For most of human history, evenings were when people: Gathered, ate slowly, exhaled, connected, signaled safety...

Now we try to cram that need into: A couch, a screen and a packet of biscuits

Your body is trying to recreate a regulation ritual but with the only tool it has: food.

Build a replacement ritual that signals safety before 9pm:

Warm meal earlier in the evening

Dim the lights after 7pm

Switch to slower music if that's your jam

Have a consistent “closing the day” action, even if it's taking a shower and making tea

This tells your nervous system:

We are done now. We can relax.

It brings in a new habit or ritual that can still close that loop but not in a way that is self-destructive.