Why We Hold on to What Hurts Us

Something that comes up a lot with anyone that is looking to make lifestyle changes is always fear. And while on the outside, or even on the inside, it may feel like a very silly thing, it’s very valid when you know that you need to give up something bad, when that bad feels so good.

If you’ve ever been in a terrible romantic relationship, you’ll understand exactly what I mean. You are almost more willing to put up with the crap than to have to face whatever you don’t want to face alone. And many times that will mirror whatever we are dependent on, for whatever reason.

And the more people I work with, the more I realize that this is simply not something that we can be ready or prepared for, to just take away and never look back on. Because who or what is going to be there for us when we can’t face what we are needing to face alone?

Sometimes it’s safety. What safety are we finding in food or drink that we are not able to find in our immediate environment? Sometimes it just feels nice, sometimes that opening rush is what we need to escape from a terrible day at work. Maybe work is the thing that we can’t get away from. Maybe work is the bad relationship. Maybe the bad relationship is ourselves.

Maybe we are trying to get away from ourselves, our thoughts, our fears, beyond giving up what brings us joy.

I strongly feel, and I know, that many people will agree with me, that this is a very human experience, and it’s not something we should shut down, because it’s part of our growth. It’s part of our journey as human beings. It’s part of what we need to navigate through before we can feel contentment in absolutely nothing.

Until we can sit alone with ourselves and our thoughts, our fears, our mistakes, our aspirations, and not feel judgement, that point is where we can take that crutch and turn it into something beautiful.

I’ve turned my dependency on food to feel good into something beautiful. I’m making a difference. I’m sharing my knowledge. I’m exploring something new every day. I’m not simply just chucking a meal together, I’m creating. I’m experimenting with flavours, with textures, with colours. How can I create something even more beautiful than I did the day before?

Some artists have a favourite paintbrush; I have my favourite wooden spoon.

How else can I find ways to appreciate the abundance of what we are blessed with in this modern day and use it to my advantage? That I can just go to the store, pick up a bag of roasted dandelion root, brew it on a cold winter morning, and have the aroma fill my kitchen like the fresh smell of biscotti out of the oven.

There are a lot of things to be grateful for in this modern world that we are living in. We just need to love ourselves enough to be mindful about what consumes us, and why.

Whether you are celebrating Good Friday, or just having a slow day relaxing, make it meaningful for the right reasons.